The Doggy Bloggy

The life of a 12-year-old puppy, in love with squeakies and Ol' Roys

In which Jaina Breaks up with 2010…

Posted by faiththemutt on September 15, 2010

Before I even get into it– I just want to say, I’ve been looking at what people have been searching for on Google and then happening on to my blog as a Top Search result.  You people are strange.  I’m not sure what possesses anyone to do a search for “Throw Cow Pee” but I’m hoping it’s in regards to a very important, lifesaving, research project.  And I’d also like to reassure you, there is no throwing of cow pee here.

Thank you.

And now, to the more serious reason behind this post.  This year has finally reached it’s peak, at least for me, in horribleness.

This evening, while I was checking my fuzzy upstairs pets, I found Ianto had died sometime this afternoon.  I don’t really know what happened.  I know that hamsters, on average, only live one to two years.  Ianto was about to turn one (or thereabouts) this September, but was in, as far as I could tell, good health.  And, not to toot my own horn, all of my hamsters have lived much longer than that, never the lower end of the average.  I know, that I heard him running around at 6am this morning, before I left for work and assumed he was sleeping when I was in my room this afternoon.

I am mostly sad because it seemed so sudden.  He still had food in his cheek pouches when I found him and it looked like he had been heading back to his nest.  I know these things happen, but I feel like I’ve lost a lot in the last few months and I’m not handling it well.

My Grandpa, my dog, my hamster, people and creatures that were and are close to my heart.  I was hoping these sorts of things had settled down by now and that I could just ride 2010 out into the sunset and then kick it good riddance.  Apparently, that wasn’t meant to be.

Yes, I know, these things happen for a reason– Hard to believe your hamster dying without you realizing it or being able to figure out why has a reason, but hopefully he’s happy, wherever he is and that he has all the sunflower seeds he can find to save up for the apocalypse.

I will remember his little attitude, his tendency to kick box my fingers when he didn’t like what I was doing or realized he had to work for something.  I will remember his planning for the end of days, his little house, constantly full with seeds, like something was about to happen and the rest of us just didn’t know about it.  Or all the times he got upset with me for cleaning it out.  Or all the times he got me back, waiting until right after I had put the vacuum away to kick most of his clean bedding back onto the floor.  He was a tiny evil genius and he was my evil genius.

I will miss him and yes, I’ll cry for him– I don’t care that I’m 22 years old, I think it means I have a soul. Maybe I care too much about my pets, but they’re my life right now.  I just want them healthy and happy and right now, even if I couldn’t have prevented it, I feel like I failed him.

I'm in my wheel, watching you...

Remove it silly human

Maybe in the future I’ll find another little hammie that needs a home, but for now, I am in mourning.  I hope he’s happy, wherever he is.  As for 2010.  I’m over it.  I would really love for January to come and that be the end of this terrible year.  I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I’m pushing the boundaries as to how much I can take this year before I curl up into a little ball and hide in my room.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  And yes, I’m going to whine about it.

Love you Ianto.

~Jaina

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