I Haz a Happy!

For anyone following the blog– you may remember this post.  About a week ago, we discovered that Paisley’s mom, Mystic had found her way back to a shelter after being adopted, returned and lost many times in the last almost 2 years.  This last family had discovered too late that she is an energetic, intense dog and rather than returning her to the shelter (which they will ALL happily do, no questions asked), they listed her on Craigslist and gave her away.  Which explains how they “don’t remember” who they gave her to.

Because of her connection to us and the fact her life has sucked this far, I took it upon myself to convince my Dad she needed to come live with us.  He was resistant, as usual, but “Operation: Save Paisley’s Mom” was in full force.  I am perfectly comfortable stooping to begging when it comes to saving lives.  When it appeared Dad was immovable to her sad story, I stepped up my game.  This included a kidnapped phone, a quick contact edit and a personalized ringtone, concluding in a phone call that lead to Mystic finally finding her way home with us.

Today, Mom and I traveled back to PAWS & More (she had been transferred back a few days ago), where she met Faith and Luka.  We waited with bated breath, hoping that she would get along with them both enough to come home.  Luckily, she did!  It was heartwarming to see that, despite being shipped off and returned and dumped so many times, she still appears to be in good spirits and very loving.  She does look like she wasn’t treated very well and she’s trying to please everyone, even though our expectations are simply for her to listen as best she can.

It amazes me how much of Paisley I see in her.  From her tail, soft fur, to the way her tongue lolls out of her mouth.  I look in her eyes and I see Paisley.  I know she isn’t Paisley, and that was never the point of me wanting to adopt her.  I wanted to give her a home that was stable and loving, where she would never have to worry about someone kicking her out, or leaving her behind.  We at least understand what kind of personality and energy level she’s bound to have.  In fact, we discovered pretty quickly what kind of energy level she has, as she figured out how to get the front door open almost 20 minutes after she got here.  Running after someone for the first time in a very long time, definitely brought back memories.

I’m really glad she has a microchip.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing that again.

I’m happy she’s happy now :0)

I have a car!!!

I'm so glad I have a car!!!

Oddly familiar...

I took a picture of Paisley, Christmas before last that looks just like this... Clearly she's family...

She was actually a very good car rider.  She was quiet and kept to herself in the back seat.  She wagged the whole way home and stared into passing cars as though she were telling them she had her own and was going home.  She really is a sweet girl, even if she does need to work on her manners.

She handled all of this really well, even if she doesn't understand why we're doing it... AGAIN.

He likes the scratching...

And then he fell asleep against my pop bottle...

I really hope they get along.  It’ll be good if they do.

Hopefully I’ll have time to get real pictures of her soon.  I’m just happy she’s here now.

Until then!

~Jaina

Luka’s First Christmas and Other Assortedness

Well, we had another Christmas come and go today.  It was also Luka’s very fist Christmas extravaganza and let me tell you– He handled it like he knew what it was all along.

We started the celebration yesterday, by making Snickerdoodles and Banana Bread, both of which turned out quite nicely.  Surprisingly enough, Luka actually acted like a little gentleman and didn’t need to be kicked out but once– simply because he has a tendency to lay down right behind you.  Good for knowing where he is, bad for not tripping on your face.

Can you... Just. Dwop whatever dat is pwease?

He was very interested in what we were doing and was also pleased with the scents that were being emitted by our oven.

 

Lemme jus check de wecipe, 2 cups sugew, 16 cups cookees...

He was very helpful.  Not.

 

Yes, I was.

He really wasn’t.

He was also helping me wrap presents.  Sort of.

 

I was on twash dutee!

He really was.  Not.

 

Faith was just waiting for anything at all...

And then the big day came–

 

All of these were our presents, but there were probably twice as many dog presents earlier.

Yeah, Faith is going in for the kill...

Faith waits for no one apparently and went immediately for the smelliest present she could find.

 

And then try to open them before anyone else can have some.

But Luka learned quickly...

 

And learned effectively...

And voila-- Happy Puppy...

Verrrrry Happy.

Faith-- Meet Faith...

You can’t really tell in the photo, but the toy does look like Faith, in a tug toy kind of way.

 

HALP! SHE HAZ DE PWESENTS!

So he got a monkey.

Sharing???

Nahhhh.

It was a good Christmas– The puppies were happy, the other assorted animals were happy and all of the presents I gave seemed to go over well.  I love Christmas and I’m always sad to see it go– but, there’s always next year to look forward to and more shopping to stress over :0)  I can listen to Christmas music for little while longer and then it’s off to whatever holiday comes next… Easter?  President’s Day?  Who knows.

Anyway, all of us here at the Doggy Bloggy wish you the best of the rest of this beautiful holiday and the happiest of New Years (I actually have plans!  Wha-whut-whut?!).  Also, whatever weather occurs, we hope it isn’t overwhelming, as winter weather often is!

Off for leftover turkey!

 

Merry Christmas!!!

~Jaina & Faith & Luka and all the rest!

 

We Wish you a Merry Christmas…

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Merry Christmas one and all.  Faith, the gang and I hope everyone has a pleasant and spirited holiday and that 2011 starts out wonderfully.

I’ll post photos later about our own celebration and what and alllll the toys the fuzzy faces got.  Because, frankly– They got way more than the rest of us.

Until then!

Jaina

Belated Christmas: Paisley’s First

Yes… I forgot to write a Christmas post.  I suck at this blogging thing–

Anyway, we had a very Merry Christmas at our house and the dogs, made out like the bandits that they are.  Really.  I have pictures.  I was pretty spoiled too, but I have to say the dogs did pretty well!

But before we get started with the evidence, we in the midwest hope you all had a Merry Christmas and as Paisley says “And a Hippee Nude Deer”.  You might need an online translator for that one.  And now on to what we’re really here for.

Dad woke Faith and I up Christmas morning as he traditionally does, with Mannheim Steamroller playing to wake us.  It’s one of my favorite traditions and I think after 10 years, Faith has figured out that this is her cue to run to the door because Santa Paws has come and gone.  She loves getting presents so she was pretty excited when I kicked back the blankets and made my way to the door.  She wasn’t the only excited one.  Paisley had been let out of her kennel and was making a ruckus when she saw all the new things under the tree.  They hadn’t been there when she had gone to bed the night before and like a little kid, she knew immediately that there was something new:

Ohhhh, Chwismas twee ohhh Chwismas tweeeeeee, how yummy awe yowr bwanches!

Since Paisley likes to gnaw on Pine tree branches– I felt it was appropriate.  Just so you know, all of the packages wrapped in blue, are for the dogs… And you can’t even see them all from this angle…

I got a Sock Monkey! Paisley thinks it's hers but it's mine.

Oh man, were they ever excited to see all of those presents:

See what I mean?

Iz dat mine too?

They were quite excited to get their presents open.  A few of them were rather stinky (A real dog magnet) and they could tell it was for them just by sniffing them.  Yuri, is really rather good at getting presents open on his own:

This is the best Christmas EVER!

Paisley and Faith were just as happy:

Whatevewr yew're opening, it's miiiiiineee!

I would post photos of all of us opening our gifts as we all received some awesome gifts.  My Dad and I actually found gifts for Mom that she loved and for once, she had no idea what they were.  A typical Christmas includes Mom grabbing her gifts, giving it a little shake and calling it before she opens it.

This is rather aggravating.

But this time– HAHAHAHAHAHA.  WE WIN!!!  So, she was surprised, we were surprised and the puppies were happily gnawing on toys and Beggin’ Strips and not surprised– Because we’re wrapped around their little paws.

Anyway, like I said, I would have added pictures of the non-fuzzy people, but it was early in the morning and none of us were exactly– Attractive at that time.  I’ll post one that is a little less scary of myself– I had just received a Garmin Nüvi for Christmas and was very excited as I’ve needed one of those for years.  As I’ve mentioned in previous entries, I am directionally challenged.  Sometimes, I can’t even find my way around my own hometown and it’s rather humiliating.  Soooo, I was about two seconds away from kissing it.

At least I brushed my hair before I came downstairs, so there's that...

Sorry if you feel a sudden need to stab your eyes out…

So, I would say overall we all had a good Christmas.  We had a lovely Christmas meal, delicious turkey and sides and I’m very happy to say my Dad was able to accurately recreate my Grandmother’s turkey gravy; a recipe that had been lost for several years after she passed away.  I loved my Grandma very much and when she died it was hard to get used to holidays without her.  I remember family gatherings being what they were because she was there.  She made things from memory and the recipe for the gravy was no exception.  It was one of those “A dash of this, a handful of that” sort of things and we were fairly sure after many, many failures that it was a lost cause.  Well, this year, Dad tried again with the ingredients we knew were necessary and it was success.  So much so that I nearly cried when I tasted it as it transported me back to those days at her house during Christmas, her hovering over everyone and making sure her grandchildren were stuffed to the gills.  I miss her and I hope she and my grandfather who has also passed are celebrating together again.

Sorry… Reminiscing.  But as I said, the puppies were well spoiled this past Christmas and although I know it’s over for a while, Paisley is already plotting what she gets next year!

Much love and a Happy New Year!

Jaina, Faith, Paisley & Yuri (Oh and Mom & Dad too)

Introducing… Paisley!

So this particular post may be short as I am absolutely exhausted from today’s events and really just want to sleep.  Whatever I’m sick with has only left on a semi-permanent basis and keeps reminding me it’s around by causing me to cough uncontrollably for several minutes.  So I’m thinking sleep is a good idea.

However, Faith and I had to share the news that Paisley has officially joined our family as of 7pm this evening.

: Yeah.  We gotta new bebe.  Onwee, dis one doesn’t squeak…

: What do you think of her?

: I dunno yet.  She is cute wike my squeakies… But I can’t actuwee squeak her– and she copies me a wot.  Can’t do nuffing wifout her following me.

: I think that means she likes you.

: It’s a wittle cweepy.  But, I guess dats ok… If she tinks I’m cool…

: Of course.

This morning, after reassuring my professor, a fellow dog-lover, that I would let her know if we indeed adopted a puppy tonight, I sat through class and suddenly realized how anxious I was for the day to be near an end.  Seeing as then I would actually be able to meet Paisley and see if she could come home with us.  Class broke relatively early and I headed home to grab lunch, finish up some work and get Faith and Yuri prepared for their vaccination.  Which really consisted of me putting on leashes and getting them into the car.

I left a half hour early so I wouldn’t be late, seeing as the office we had to go to was a different branch of our vet’s office and I had never been there.  I should also mention I’m directionally challenged.  So, yes, it’s a good thing, or I would have been more than the 3 or 4 minutes late I was.  Found out they weren’t going be getting shots but nasal sprays, much to Faith’s relief and after that, got to head home to meet up with Mom so we could head to the shelter, an hour away from our house.

It felt like the trip would take forever.  Like, forrrreeevvver and we had already expressed some concern that for whatever reason, they might deny us an adoption or Paisley would turn out to be a bad fit for us, so this was torture.  Faith and Yuri were fine with it though, as long as they got a breeze from the open window and a bit of water from the bottle we bought them before leaving.

When we finally got there (on the first try no less) we nervously asked to see Paisley at which we were guided to an outdoor kennel where Paisley, her mother (so sad to have to separate them) and her father were waiting.  I hadn’t had any idea that the entire family had been brought to the shelter, I just assumed that the puppies were accidents (they happen) and that someone had brought them in.  Apparently they didn’t want any of them.  We didn’t really get a chance to see Paisley’s parents as there was a cacophony of barking and the girl helping us was  a bit overwhelmed with excited dogs.

And there she was.  Absolutely lovely.  She is clearly of Lab and Husky descent (obviously) and never before have I seen so many of my own dogs’ traits in one single animal.  My Mom and I were tickled to see that many of the quirks, looks and mannerisms Faith and Yuri have all on their own could be seen in Paisley.  She truly is remarkable to handle all of that.  In any case, I think it’s clear we had to bring her home.  A picture sent to my Dad via text had him leaving a message telling us that despite him being leery of adopting another dog, her cuteness had prevailed.  During the meet and greet with our dogs, Paisley handled herself amazingly and so did Faith and Yuri.  They all seemed to get along just fine and although Faith was worried she was meeting her replacement, she appears to be channeling motherhood and gets more upset with me if the puppy cries about something than me actually enjoying the company of a new puppy.  I’m ok with that.  So in the end, she definitely seems to be a good fit for us.  She’s beautiful, she’s clearly smart (more on that later) and she is loved by all.

Now if we can get that potty training out of the way pretty quick, we’ll be good!  I’ll leave you with some photos!  She’s a pretty girl and in case anyone notices, she has two eye colors, in an odd way.  One eye is entirely blue and the other is bi-color, both blue and brown.  It’s very cool, very odd, but very cool.

She goes in for her first check up this week, sometime, whenever I can actually make it to an appointment with her and hopefully the little concerns we’ve managed to find in the first few hours are nothing and she’s healthy as a horse— er, puppy and we can all just move on and have a good time.

Meet Paisley

Paisley is a good little baby

Paisley has decided she loves the feel of wind in her fur

Really.

And to pose for the camera

While Faith pouts (sort of)

And Yuri asks Mom "But, what do you do with it?"

But it all just makes her sleepy

Until she gets home

Exploring new appliances

And stealing Faithee's toys

: I want dat back in de mowning.

: Oh, Faith.  What would I do without you?

: Pwobabwee die, mommy.  You’d nevew make it.

: Thanks.  I definitely would not be the same.

Until then!

Jaina & Faith

Never Wear Lipstick when the Windows are Down and the Dog is with you

: Well, today was interesting.  It was a slow start, but I think in the long run, I ended up doing more than I expected.  Translation: I spent more money than I was intending.

: You work tomowwow.

: Does not mean I want my hard-earned cash disappearing before it even gets in my checking account.

: Den how do I get my squeakies?

: *Headdesk*

I will never win this argument, she’s hell-bent on breaking the world record of “Dog with most Squeakies”, which, if you think about it, she’s inarguably the winner of anyway.  If she’s not, I’d like to meet the person who’s more insane than me and what their toy box looks like.  Because, Faith’s is too frightening to show to the public.

: And you fowgawt to take pictuws…

: *cough*… Nobody needs to know that.

Anyway, today I decided I had to find a water bottle for Ianto, something the poor little guy can actually drink out of, since the one I bought for him was such an epic failure.  Plus, every hamster needs a rolly ball– It’s a necessity or all the other hamsters will laugh at him for not being as cool as them… Because… There are so many of them around here.

Anyway, he needed one.  I would take a picture, but 1.) He played in it most of the afternoon and got all tuckered out, so no energy for a photoshoot (plus, I needed to pick my room up first) and 2.) When a hamster is in a small space for longer than, I don’t know, 2 seconds, they have a tendency to… Let loose.  So I also have to clean it before I start taking any photos or we’ll have even fewer readers.  He may have tiny poops but that doesn’t make it cute.

Buying a rolly ball was first on the agenda but ended up being the last thing bought.  Since Wal-Mart is terrible.  I’m getting ahead of myself here though, as today was rather chaotic.

9:30 am, Faith woke me by staring at me, reminding me that I had plans to do stuff.  Though, I was a little slow going despite her insistence.  I promised her she could come with me once I got myself into gear.  After lunch, we headed out and booooooy was she ready.

Open dis door... Now.

Awaiting her chariot to be prepped, Faith had the cogs turning.  Didn’t matter to her that I was only going (planning) on buying stuff for Ianto and possibly make-up for me, seeing as I’ve been out of foundation for like, a month.  No matter, she had a plan.

PWEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEE!

Give me de keys, I'll dwive I know whrew de squeakies awe!

Like, really ready.  And no, she did not drive, I’m not quite that desperate to lose my life.  Or my license.

Goodbye howse, I'll be back wif a squeaky!

Do you see how her mind works?  It’s never good when she starts plotting.  I hadn’t even said anything about a squeaky at this point.  But then, we got to Wal-Mart and suddenly, I was told that I couldn’t come back to the car if I didn’t bring her something, soft, cute and squeakable.

Now dat is where de squeakies awe... You have your owdews...

I think she meant orders… But… Sometimes the Universal Translator fails me when it comes to Faith-Speak.  Maybe she meant odors… And then I would be mad.  However, as long as I am ignorant to this, she’s very persuasive.

Did I mention that this isn’t just me being a pushover.  Just mostly.  The night before last, Yuri (Faith’s older brother) decided to finish off the gorilla with the bad dye job when no one was looking.  Mom insisted that somehow the gorilla had exploded on its own and that Yuri was just an innocent bystander.  Hardyhar.  I don’t believe it for a second, but that’s her story and she’s sticking to it.  Since I wasn’t actually there, I can’t say much to his actions… Just that there was bits of fluff all over the floor.

She wins.

There is actually make-up under that monkey…  Somewhere.  And, to be fair, Wal-Mart’s small pet section is stinky.  So we had to go somewhere else anyway.  Yeah.

SQUEAKY!!!! I know it's in dere!

Sigh. At least she knows I love her.  That’s all that matters.

Ahwuvffmahbahbe

Really, really love her.  Since the rolly balls at Wal-Mart were ridiculous and too big, I had to go back to the store I bought Ianto from in the first place to find one and get a new bottle for him.  Aside from buying an assortment of items for my little boy, I found a case of gourmet dog cookies and seeing as I love my dogs, I had to buy some.  At least they were cute.

Even with my human sensibilities... I really wanted to eat these.

It brings out the demon in Yuri.

WANT COOKIE!!!!

Yummy! I wuv cookies toooo!

If ever a clown needed to fear a dog...

She was very patient with me holding on to her cookie.  Unlike Yuri, who made a break for the living room.

Tank you.

Do not share!

So aside from spoiling my dogs, entirely too much– I also spoiled my hamster… What?  Every hamster needs a rolly ball, a good water bottle and munchie sticks!

Don’t judge me.

: Yeah, because den she might not buy me de tings I want… Do we have anymowr cookies?

: Not at the moment.

: Well dat’s nawt wight.  De wules showd change awound hewre.  Squeakies and cookies, evwee day!

Until next time!

Jaina & Faith

Ianto H. Jones meets The Squeaky

: Well as I’m sure you’ve all been wondering… Faith got a new squeaky.

: Onwy took fowevwer.

: Listen, I’m not made of money.

: Appawentwy you’re not made of Squeakies eiver!

: Or I could just never buy you squeakies ever again.

: As if you couwd evew say no to dis face.

: Why does it always come to this, folks?  This constant cute blackmail?  Which, of course, works.  Because, look what she got?

The gorilla with the bad dye-job

: I wuv it.

: Of course you do. Which is why this happened:

Ugh.. I am dead.

: It is possibwe I wuved him a wittle too hawd…

: That would explain the explosion of stuffing.

But she got a new toy! Aren’t I a good mommy?  Aren’t I a total push-over?!  Maybe I should take a page from Faith’s book and not worry about my sad, sad little existence– Hakuna Matata as some would say.

Or maybe Bat-dog anyone?

Nanananana BAT-DOGGGGG!

Yeah, I should definitely take a page.  Napping sounds like it works for her, maybe it would for me.

……

In other news…

So, my little boy, Ianto (and for anyone who is as nerdy as I, yes, that is a Torchwood reference) was a little wound up this evening, so I let him go for a stroll before I called Faith up for bed.  Little did I know, he must have ingested sugar or something, because I could barely keep up with him… Or I’m actually getting old and just shouldn’t have a hamster, but in my defense, I did pretty well in keeping him from doing a leap of faith right off the side of my bed.

Regardless, I’m glad he’s not a biter when you have to fish him out of cracks and crevices and he certainly seems to enjoy wandering, so that’s good.  Hopefully sometime this week I can talk myself into wandering out into the warm summer weather and buy him a new rolly ball so he can run all he wants and I won’t have to worry he’s getting himself squished some place.  I need to buy him a new water bottle as the one I got when I bought him seems to be giving him trouble.  I’m not sure if it’s because there’s something technically wrong with it, or if it’s just because he’s little and his mouth is too small to get the ball pushed out of the way to get water out.

Either way, he’s currently drinking out of a well cleaned Rolaids lid.  It’s cute to watch him drink out of it, but I have to remember to refill it every day and I’m a little on the forgetful side.  So, definitely need to get on that.  Despite the trials and tribulations of being a hamster owner, I’m glad he’s photogenic too, though fast for the hamsterazzi.

Hmmm... Must contact Gareth David-Lloyd about the finale of Torchwood...

He’s a fast little dude, but at least obstacles still slow him down.

There seems to be a giant gorilla blocking my path.

And he’s got a bit of an attitude

Remove it, silly human

So, rather than risk him taking a fall off my desk, I let him take a stroll on my bed.

Ah yes, new terrain-- What is this shadow following me?

That kid is the cutest.  Gotta get that rolly ball.

Until the next purchase!

~Jaina & Faith

Links, Squeakies and Naps

: So, we haven’t posted in a while, not since the squeaky that is not actually a squeaky– Faith–.

: What?  I haven’t even wooked at it!

: That’s not true, but you have been very good about not trying to squeak him.  I’m sure Ianto appreciates not being your next squeaky.

: It’s not wike he’d of made a vewy good one anyway.  He’s too smawl.

: That’s true and you should remember that.  He’s a dwarf hamster so he’s even smaller than regular hamsters!

: You mean dey come in diffewent sizes?!

: Oh, dear.  How about we show people how cute he is?

: I haven’t been feeling the greatest the last three days, so I’ve been sort of lazy about posting or doing anything of usefulness lately.  Don’t know what the problem is but I’ve just been super fatigued for no reason and haven’t had much motivation to do anything productive.  Which is the complete opposite of what I was intending for this summer.  So, I at least am trying to keep up.  Faith’s suggestion is “MOWR NAPS”:

zzzzzzz....

That doesn’t seem practical, at least not to me, sounds nice, but not practical.  Faith doesn’t think being practical has anything to do with it, but seeing as I’m supposed to be the human in this relationship, we’ll see.

We’ve been linking to a lot of bunny blogs lately, which isn’t too odd, considering I personally have had a rabbit most of my life (not the same one, that would awesome and weird) but for most of my life, there’s always been one living in the backyard.  Last year I lost my 9-year-old Dutch Dwarf, Grace, to mammary cancer, a loss I knew was coming, but was still unprepared for in the end.  This passed May, I lost Phoebe, my big white albino to an unknown illness.  It was completely unexpected and I still wonder what happened, I just wasn’t curious enough to allow a necropsy.  She was beautiful and I didn’t want anything to spoil that.  They were heart-wrenching losses and so close to everyone here that getting another rabbit is too hard.  So for now, Faith, Yuri and Ianto will be all that’s left and I don’t think we could have asked for more.

As for the bunny blogs, Faith thinks bunnies are cute, strange, but cute.  She thought Grace and Phoebe were pretty and smelled weird, but she always said hello when she went outside and never tried to hurt them (she never had the opportunity, but I think she knows better). Besides, Phoebe although not even half Faith’s size, had some monster thumpers on her, she didn’t take no for an answer and she certainly wouldn’t take any guff from some fuzz-faced goon, so I never really worried.  But now that we don’t have any bunnies, Faith likes to look at blogs about them, plus, we have yet to find any good ones about dogs (suggestions?).  So, if you’re curious, she loves de bunnies!  Loves dem!  And loves your pictures if you happen to notice we’ve linked to you!

And finally, have a little Faith, who knows how to be adorable too!

Just ignore the baby-talk.  I have no shame and it’ll continue whether it annoys people or not.

Until then!

Jaina & Faith

The New Squeaky-Not-Squeaky

Dis… Is a catastwophe…  I don’t know how it happened, or why.  Just dat it happened.

Today… Mom bought a squeaky and actuawwy said– IT’S NOT A SQUEAKY!!!!!

First of awl, dere is no such ting as “not a squeaky”.  I mean, sewiously, doesn’t it wook wike a squeaky?

It's a squeaky... I know it.

Mom says I have to be nice to it.  I guess I can be, but I wemember saying we should go to Target for an ACTUAL, WEAL, BOOTIFUL SQUEAKY… Do you HEAR DAT MOM??!!  Geez… And to make it worse… It doesn’t sweep at night.  Holy squeakies!  How am I supposed to get any sweepies!?!  It’s aways in dat stupid wheel thingy!  I don’t know how much wonger I can take it.  Could you?

Don't fall for it...

It's blurry... But dangerous

At weast my mom’s fwend, Kelsey came over (she helped buy de annoying squeaky-not-squeaky) but she played tug wif me and I guess dat made it easier for me to wike de new bebe:

I'm winning...

Still winning

Did I mention I was winning?

Yuwi is not amused.

I WON! I WON!

Heeeee. I wuv it when I win!

No, weally. I wuv it.

And den she frew it again. Geez.

Besides being annoyed by de new bebe.  Wast Saturday, gwandma, gwandpa, Mommy and her boyfwend (Who, by de way, did not bwing me a new squeaky) went to de park for a pickynic.  We had hot dogs and beans, cheesy Cheeto poofs and oweo cookies.  De not-fuwwy puppies had dis stuff called potato-salad… Blech!  I wouldn’t touch dat for awl de squeakies in de world… Well,  maybe awl of dem– Anyway, dat was gwoss, but de pickynic was fun and I hope we get to do it again.

Yuwi was twying to sneak up on de Cheesy Poofs... I tink dey saw him

I wuv dis wheaver

Gwandpa ate an oweo wifout me. Not. Fair.

He tinks he's sneaky. But, we can seeee him!

And dat was my week.  Too much to do.  And not enough squeakies.  Oy.

~Faith

The Squeaky Tutorial

Disclaimer: Blog writer cannot be held responsible for any crossing eyes at the translation of Faith’s speaking into the written word.  Her speech defies all the rules of the English language.  You have been warned… If it helps, think of it as a mix between baby talk and the priest from Princess Bride.

: Hello again!  Hopefully you’re all enjoying a nice July day.  It’s been rainy and gross for the last day or so in our neck of the woods.

: By enjoying, you mean giving me mowr cookies…

: I’m pretty sure that’s not what I meant.

: Yuwi got one.

: Because Yuri has terrible breath and he needs his breath-mint cookies.

: Ummm… I can have tewwible bweth two.

: Look, he needs them, stop begging.

:But doggies can cownt!  Yuwi: 1 Faifh: none!

: You don’t need anymore cookies.

: Um, you had an Oweo wifout me eawier.  Does dat make your bweth bettew?

: Touché.

: Annnnyway.  Before we get totally and irrelevantly off-topic– Faith obviously has an obsession with squeaky toys.  I don’t remember when it started or when she began her collection, but I do know that since then, her toybox has gotten ridiculous.

: What?! Dere aren’t enuf bebes if you ask me!

: It’s full enough, but somehow she cutifies people into buying her new ones.

: Do nawt.

: Really?  Then how come mom’s bought you every Hartz toy currently available?

: Cuz, she’s my gwandma?  She has to buy her gwandpuppy twoys…

: Okay, how about my boyfriend?  You wouldn’t let him in the door unless he bought you something.

: If he wants to date my mommy, den he bettew bwing me someting to keep me fwom biting him!

: Alllll right, then what about me?  I don’t even know how much I’ve spent on squeakies in the last three years.

: …….

: Ooookay.  So this is a squeaky tutorial?

: A what?

: A tutorial– You’re going to show them your squeakies and explain why they’re your favorites and maybe why people should buy them for their dogs.

: Uh… Yes.

: Great.  Have at it.

: OK, pay attention not-fuwwy dogs– What you wearn today may save your puppy’s wife someday, so hewe awe some simple Doggy Wules:

Wule #1: Must feed doggy awl de cookies dey want.  Sewiously, don’t bweak dis one or doggy may haf to bite you.  Dats not good fow de welationship.

Wule #2: Buy doggy as many Squeakies as dey want– Don’t bweak dis one eiver or dey do dat biting ting again and dat’s no fun.  Not-fuwwy dogs taste twweible.

Wule #3: Wepeat wules 1 and 2 all de time, wif an occassional belly wub and bacon gwease tweat.  Or all de time.  Your call, just wemember de biting…

OK… Now we get to my favowite pawt.  SQUEAKIES!!!!  I will show you de pictuwes my mommy took wif hew flashy box tingy…

Sheep!

Dis is my sheep.  I just got him fwom my gwandma a wittle while ago, but he’s one of my favowite bebes.  He squeaks weally funny (maybe my mommy will wecowd it so you can heaw).  People always wagh when I squeak him fow no weason.

Goose!

Dis is my goose.  I wish he honked wike a real goose, but he weally sounds wike a mouse.  But I stiww wuv it a lot.  Don’t worry geesies and duckies, I don’t twy to squeak weal ones… Maybe a squirrel.

Doggy!

Dis is my puppy.  I have wots of puppies, but dis one is my favowite owt of awl of dem.  Mommy says he wooks sea-sick– I tink he’s cute.  Even puppies need puppies.  Even if dey’re gween.

Opossum!

Dis is de… Poss..Posso… Gwandma cawls him “Woad Kill”… He doesn’t squeak anymowr, but I don’t cawe.  He’s my bebe.  At weast I don’t wook for weal woad kill.

Frog!

Dis is de one-eyed fwog.  My mommy’s boyfwend:

Mommy's boyfriend... AKA: sucker

He gave it to me to make me wike him.  I guess he’s okay… He needs to bwing me mowr soon, or I bite him.  I wike de fwog cuz he squeaks too… And he’s pwetty cute even wifout an eye.

Bunny!

Dis is my bunny!  Mommy used to have weal ones, but wouldn’t wet me squeak dem.  So she got me dis one so I wouldn’t twy.  I guess dat’s good enough.  For now.

: Awl right… I guess dis awl for now.  I told mommy I wanted to share my favowite twoys and I did.  And now I’m tiwed, I tink it’s time for a wittle nap.  Naps are de best and I take a wot of dem, even doe it takes a wot outta me. I’ll come back when I get a new squeaky, which I hope is soon– my twoy box is twooo empty!

: Is not.  And all of these are babies I find in my bed every morning– It’s really disturbing to wake up with an opossum in my face!

: Is twoo empty! And de pozzum just wuvs you a wot.

: Seriously, is not.  I’m not going to address the opossum, currently…

: Don’t you wuv me mommy?

: Of course I do, Faith.  You’re my baby.

: Den we go to Target tomowwow, okay?

: I’m not getting out of this one, am I?

Until next time, folks!

Jaina & Faith